Ba Ngoai Has Something to Say (Grandparental)

Lyrics

[Verse 1 — Ba ngoai speaking through Orikusis]
Con oi
Child
Ngoi xuong day
Sit down here

I am not going to tell you
something you do not know
I am going to tell you
something you forgot

You were small enough
to fit in the space
between the stove
and the wall
and you sat there
while I cooked
and I did not send you away
because the space
between the stove and the wall
was exactly your size
and a child
should always know
there is a space
that is exactly her size

[Verse 2 — Ba ngoai continuing]
Me khong biet nhieu chu
I did not know many words
Not the kind
they put in books
Not the kind
your Sisukiro uses
with her Latin
and her journals

I knew when the rice was done
by the sound
I knew when the rain was coming
by the dog
I knew when you were lying
by the way you held
your left hand
which is the hand
that has never learned
to lie
and is still
the hand
that tells me everything

Khong can doc sach de biet yeu thuong
You do not need to read books
to know love
You need to notice
when someone's left hand
is hiding

[Verse 3 — Ba ngoai]
I did not hug you enough
This is not an apology
This is an observation

In my village
love was not a hug
Love was
did you eat
Love was
the blanket pulled up
after you were already sleeping
Love was
the mango I saved
from my portion
and put on your plate
when you were not looking

You found the mango
and you said
where did this come from
and I said
it was always there
and you believed me
because you were five
and because
it was true
the mango was always there
I just had to decide
it was yours
and not mine
and the deciding
is what love looked like
in my kitchen

[Pre-Chorus — Ba ngoai]
Con gai cua ba
My granddaughter
You went so far
to a city I cannot pronounce
and you cook my recipes
in a kitchen I will never see
and the recipes
taste almost right
which is close enough
which is perfect
because almost
is what happens
when love travels
and love
always travels
with a slight fold

[Chorus — Ba ngoai, accordion alone]
Me muon noi voi con rang
I want to tell you this

The world is not kind
but the world
has kitchens
and the kitchens
are where the kindness
hides

When the world
is not kind
go to the kitchen
Pick up the knife
Not to fight
To cut the lemongrass
To bruise it
with the back
the way I showed you
The way my mother
showed me
The way her mother
showed her

The lemongrass
does not care
what country you are in
It bruises the same
It releases the same
It smells like home
wherever you bruise it
and home
is not a place
home is the bruising

[Bridge — Ba ngoai, quieter]
I am not alive anymore
You know this
I know you know this
because you cook on Tuesdays
which was my day
and the cooking
is the knowing

But I want you to hear me
say it plainly
because I did not say enough
things plainly
when I had the mouth
to say them with

Yeu con nhieu lam
I love you very much
Not because you cook my recipes
Not because you remember
the fish sauce
Not because you left the bones in
though I noticed
and I approve

I love you
because you were small enough
to fit between the stove
and the wall
and you sat there
and you watched
and the watching
became the learning
and the learning
became the cooking
and the cooking
became the love
and now you are the stove
and someone else
is sitting
in the space
beside you
and the space
is exactly their size

[Final Chorus — clarinet enters quietly, Orikusis's own voice emerging]
Ba ngoai has something to say
and she has said it
and the accordion
knows the melody
because the accordion
has been playing it
in every song
underneath everything
the way she was underneath
everything

The lemongrass
bruises the same
in Hue and in Paris
The mango
was always there
The left hand
still cannot lie
The rice
knows when it is done
The rain
is coming
the dog
is sleeping differently
and the blanket
has been pulled up
after I was already sleeping
and I did not feel it
and I did not need to feel it
because that
is what love
looked like
in her kitchen
and in mine
and in the one
that comes after mine
and after that
and after that

Con oi
Child
An di
Eat now