Song 77: Self-Discovery

Lyrics

[Intro]

[Verse 1]
I said no last Tuesday
To something I would have said yes to
For the first twenty years
Of my residency in this body
And the no
Came out like a new word
In a language I didn't know I'd been studying

And the silence after the no
Was not guilt
It was the sound
Of a room rearranging its furniture
Without asking permission
And the furniture looked better
And I didn't recognize the room
And I lived there

[Pre-Chorus]
Tôi đang trở thành ai đó
I am becoming someone
Và tôi chưa biết cô ấy
And I don't know her yet
But she said no on a Tuesday
And I think I'm going to like her

[Chorus]
L'amour de la découverte, l'amour de la découverte
The love for the stranger you're becoming on the way
L'amour de la découverte, l'amour de la découverte
The slow surprise of finding rooms inside yourself
You didn't know were there
Furnished by someone
Who shares your name
But not your fears
Not anymore
Not the old ones anyway
The new fears are better
The new fears have windows

[Verse 2]
Bà ngoại said
Con sẽ gặp chính mình nhiều lần
You will meet yourself many times
And not every version will stay for dinner
Some will sit for a coffee
And leave
And some will move in
And rearrange everything
And you will hate the rearranging
Until one morning
You walk through the kitchen
And realize the light
Was always supposed to come in
From that side

I met a version of myself last spring
Who listens more than she talks
Which the old version
Would have considered a surrender
And the new version considers
A promotion
With better hours
And a window
That faces the garden
Instead of the road

[Pre-Chorus]
And the garden was always there
I just kept the curtain closed
Because the road
Felt more urgent
And urgency
Is a currency
I am learning to stop spending

[Chorus]
L'amour de la découverte, l'amour de la découverte
The love for the stranger you're becoming on the way
L'amour de la découverte, l'amour de la découverte
The slow surprise of finding rooms you didn't decorate
That someone who shares your name
Prepared for you
Before you were ready
And now you're ready
And the room is still there
And the light comes in
From the side
You wouldn't have chosen
Which is the right side
Which was always the right side

[Bridge]
The self is not a fixed address
That's what the neuroscience would say
If the neuroscience were invited to this song
Which it is
Briefly
As a guest
Not a lecturer

The self is a neighbourhood
You explore one street at a time
And some streets are dead ends
And some streets
Have a bakery you can't believe
You've never visited
And the bread is warm
And you've lived three blocks away
For a decade


And the discovering
Is the love
Not the destination
The walk itself
The gravel
The footstep
The turn you took
Because the old route
Finally bored you

[Outro]
L'amour de la découverte